Last night was fun. We were young again. My wife and I talked about what it would be like if we didn’t have kids, and how much time and freedom we used to have before we had kids…but then sighed and, “But isn’t life so much richer with them?”.

My wife asked me this morning what I liked most about being 30. I said it was that I felt complete. I have a wife who I’m crazy in love with and whom I would rather spend my time with than anyone else I can think of. I have two beautiful daughters with so much personality it makes me laugh, a wonderful home, terrific neighbors, a job I enjoy very much, a church I’m honored to serve and be a part of, and I am loved by God. As far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t get much better than this.

I know that success can be defined in several different ways, but I feel very successful. Not to say that I’ve done all this, because I haven’t. I’ve been blessed in an amazing series of events all orchestrated by God to write my story, I cannot, and do not take credit for any of my successes. I credit them all to the redemptive work of Jesus Christ in my life. I credit all of it to Him.

I have so much to say, and as I sit down at the keyboard it starts to come pouring out, but let me first say what I sat down to write: As far as I’m concerned, anything I could gain in this world I already have. A loving family, a roof over my head, a job I enjoy, and a church that believes in the transformative power of Jesus Christ. I don’t think there’s much else. In the words of Johnny Carson: The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

But enough about that. The point is, that I’m satisfied. As I wrote in a previous post a long time ago, if my name means nothing but the father of Hannah and Norah, and loving husband to Meagan, that is sufficient, and that is my fulfillment. I don’t want to hear arguments about my needs, because I know they exist, and I tend to them, but the point is, I’m not blinded by any dreams of material gains. I’m at peace with where we are, regardless of our finances and material possessions. I’m happy to have these days.

Make it count.

About a year and a half ago my wife and I were taking a walk around our town home community with our, then 2 year old daughter. The weather was beautiful so an older man was sitting on his front porch and struck up a conversation with us. We talked for a few minutes, and while we were talking he looked at me, put his hand on my shoulder and said the following:

I know you didn’t ask for my opinion in parenting, but I’m gonna give it to you. Make it count. Enjoy every moment you have with them when they’re little, because when you get to be my age, you’re gonna look back and wish you would have. You’re gonna wish you spent less time at the office and more time being with them when they were growing up, when they wanted to be with you.

My daughter’s grown now, and she’s got a daughter who’s a little older than yours. She started school this year, and I just happened to be there for her first day of school. She wanted me to walk her to the school bus, so I did.

We were all standing there when the school bus pulled up and she excitedly ran up to the bus, then stopped, turned around to wave bye… [he then begins to tear up]

…and I saw my daughter standing there, at five years old, getting on the school bus for the first time…

I’m tellin’ ya man, make it count. ‘Cause you never get those years back.

I’m 30 years old today. I have two beautiful daughters, and a wife I am in love with.

We have dance parties in the living room, we color and do crafts together. We make big breakfasts on Saturday mornings and our daughters lick the spoon. We make it count.

If I’m not living the dream…I don’t know what is.

Anyone who has small children knows how hard it is to take a good picture (see:  The Art of Toddler Photography, by Tom Fishburne), this past Sunday, after only 3 tries, we got this photo:

My beautiful family, whom I love dearly.

A few days ago we went out to Dairy Queen to grab a treat and the car was full. Hannah and Norah were both in the back of our station wagon, and my wife and I were up front. We had all the necessary gear to keep the kids entertained and happy while we were driving and were enjoying our time together. We have a full family now, all four of us together. I’m very excited about this, I feel very lucky to have my girls and honored to be their father.

My first child, Hannah is 2 years and three months and is very headstrong, but she can also be very responsible. I’m excited about the role she now plays in her little sister’s life, and though she’s still challenging at times, she is what we prayed for all along. A daughter who would be strong and independent, to not be easily swayed by peer pressure. She is confident and spunky, and that’s what I have to remember in the challenging moments.

Our new baby, though we don’t know her very well so far, seems to be very laid back. We keep waiting for things to get difficult, but she seems fairly content to go where we go and live how we live. She is really easy so far, which isn’t what we’re used to. I’m excited to see them grow up together.

I heard this song the other day. It literally moved me to tears. The lyrics are true and beautiful. At the end of the song, the lyrics change to “Father Lead me…”:

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I’m called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won’t You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can’t
Don’t want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I’ll show them I’m willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone

Sometimes I’m tempted to hurry my day along to get to the things that I want to do, things I never have time for. For my own time. My daughter is two right now, and she’ll only be two for a year. I have little time with her considering I work all day, and come home for a few precious hours before she goes to sleep. In reading Phillipians, I came across this verse which I felt echoes what I want to be my desire:

But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you.

Philippians 2:17

Even if I am to be poured out, for my name to mean nothing to anyone but my daughters, my wife and my friends. To have no notoriety in the world, it’s worth it for my family to know they are beautiful, valuable, and worth giving up everything for. But I can’t do that alone. I have to tap into the power source so far greater than myself to achieve that goal.

Traveling for me is always something that makes me nervous…I guess it’s the unknown. The winter is also difficult, with the short days, but I’m feeling more and more hopeful and bright. My work in the basement is drawing to a close…slowly but surely, and I’m enjoying work more than I ever have.

I’m feeling more and more at peace with my security with God, even now I’m not as worried about my health as I was previously. All in all, things are going well, and I’m feeling better.

Also, if you’re using Internet Explorer, you will see a notice at the top of the site…download Firefox and use it. Internet Explorer is a pigheaded browser and should be shot. It ignores many very common conventions of the web and makes things really frustrating for web developers. Get Firefox, it’s way better, faster, and more secure.