The Official Site of Joseph Hinson » Funny

Not Vegan

Joseph — Sun, 25 Sep 2011 02:55:57 +0000

Carnivores don't need a support group.

via passive aggressive notes

Five conditions for facebook friendship

Joseph — Sun, 25 Sep 2011 02:55:55 +0000

Below are 5 conditions that must be met in order for me to accept a facebook friend request:

1. If I saw you in public, I would recognize you.

If you have a profile picture, and I can’t for the life of me figure out who you are. I’m gonna ignore you.

2. If I saw you in public, I would speak to you.

If we aren’t even friendly in real life, why be friends on facebook? Really? I have enough crap to wade through already, I don’t want you adding to the mix. IGNORE.

3. We have the type of relationship that can withstand years of being out-of-touch

If, at one point in time, we were best friends, I want to know how you are, so send me a friend request. If you were in my 3rd grade class and came to my party, played with my toys, then left without saying thank you: IGNORE.

4. You don’t irritate or annoy me.

Some people send me Facebook friend requests, and I just don’t care to accept. I don’t want to have to remove their news feed from my home page, I don’t want them to send me messages or look at my pictures, because to be honest, they just get on my nerves. IGNORE.

5. You didn’t beat me up in elementary school

Kind of speaks for itself I think. I know the only reason you want to be my friend is so you can look at my pictures, jerk. You know who you are. IGNORE with a vengence.

Dialogue with an Idiot

Joseph — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 15:12:59 +0000

I haven’t been to Burger King in literally 2 years. The last time I went, they didn’t have Chicken Fries…instead, they had “Chicken Tenders” — so obviously I was curious what was with these chicken fries. This is the conversation that followed; verbatim.

Me: What’s the difference in the Chicken Fries and Chicken Tenders

Girl: One’s Chicken Fries and the other’s Chicken Tenders.

Me: .. .. Yeah, but is one seasoned differently? Do they taste the…Nevermind, I’ll have a #7 with a Coke.

Girl: Everybody in here says they don’t taste no different.

Me: Well, in that case, I’ll have an 8-pack Chicken Tender and a Medium Fry.

Girl: Is that a meal?

Me: No, just the tenders and the fries.

Girl: Drive to the first window please.

The dialogue ended here, as the next guy to greet me wouldn’t even say, “Hello” or, “How are you?” or, “Thank You”.

ED: Oh and for those of you wondering, the chicken fries are what the tenders USED to be…the tenders are now what is commonly reffered to as “nuggets”.

In case of fire…

Joseph — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 15:12:58 +0000

Kid gives inspirational speech after learning to ride his bike

Joseph — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 19:30:22 +0000

Ditto.

Joseph — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:29:04 +0000

via Failblog.org

And I’m a PC

Joseph — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 00:47:39 +0000

I screen captured this from andimapc.com. The guys who made it (Nerduo) also have a site called App For That, which is where I got this pic:

Twitter people think about burritos

Joseph — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 18:06:58 +0000

Just thought this was funny. Twitter is often made fun of for people saying things like, “I’m going for a run” and, “I’m thinking about having a burrito”. Well, it’s true, this is live RSS…so all of these entries are live.

Twitter search for thinking+burrito

Twitter search for “going for a run”

The real shocker is that this stuff is being archived in the Library of Congress. What kind of inanities are we going to look back on in 20 years from now?