Last night was fun. We were young again. My wife and I talked about what it would be like if we didn’t have kids, and how much time and freedom we used to have before we had kids…but then sighed and, “But isn’t life so much richer with them?”.

My wife asked me this morning what I liked most about being 30. I said it was that I felt complete. I have a wife who I’m crazy in love with and whom I would rather spend my time with than anyone else I can think of. I have two beautiful daughters with so much personality it makes me laugh, a wonderful home, terrific neighbors, a job I enjoy very much, a church I’m honored to serve and be a part of, and I am loved by God. As far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t get much better than this.

I know that success can be defined in several different ways, but I feel very successful. Not to say that I’ve done all this, because I haven’t. I’ve been blessed in an amazing series of events all orchestrated by God to write my story, I cannot, and do not take credit for any of my successes. I credit them all to the redemptive work of Jesus Christ in my life. I credit all of it to Him.

I have so much to say, and as I sit down at the keyboard it starts to come pouring out, but let me first say what I sat down to write: As far as I’m concerned, anything I could gain in this world I already have. A loving family, a roof over my head, a job I enjoy, and a church that believes in the transformative power of Jesus Christ. I don’t think there’s much else. In the words of Johnny Carson: The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

But enough about that. The point is, that I’m satisfied. As I wrote in a previous post a long time ago, if my name means nothing but the father of Hannah and Norah, and loving husband to Meagan, that is sufficient, and that is my fulfillment. I don’t want to hear arguments about my needs, because I know they exist, and I tend to them, but the point is, I’m not blinded by any dreams of material gains. I’m at peace with where we are, regardless of our finances and material possessions. I’m happy to have these days.

Make it count.

About a year and a half ago my wife and I were taking a walk around our town home community with our, then 2 year old daughter. The weather was beautiful so an older man was sitting on his front porch and struck up a conversation with us. We talked for a few minutes, and while we were talking he looked at me, put his hand on my shoulder and said the following:

I know you didn’t ask for my opinion in parenting, but I’m gonna give it to you. Make it count. Enjoy every moment you have with them when they’re little, because when you get to be my age, you’re gonna look back and wish you would have. You’re gonna wish you spent less time at the office and more time being with them when they were growing up, when they wanted to be with you.

My daughter’s grown now, and she’s got a daughter who’s a little older than yours. She started school this year, and I just happened to be there for her first day of school. She wanted me to walk her to the school bus, so I did.

We were all standing there when the school bus pulled up and she excitedly ran up to the bus, then stopped, turned around to wave bye… [he then begins to tear up]

…and I saw my daughter standing there, at five years old, getting on the school bus for the first time…

I’m tellin’ ya man, make it count. ‘Cause you never get those years back.

I’m 30 years old today. I have two beautiful daughters, and a wife I am in love with.

We have dance parties in the living room, we color and do crafts together. We make big breakfasts on Saturday mornings and our daughters lick the spoon. We make it count.

If I’m not living the dream…I don’t know what is.

I think this image accurately captures the sentiment of many Red Lobster wait-staff during endless shrimp season (from what I’ve heard)

Create a viable tv/movie viewing option for the iPhone.

Isn’t there something like this for the iPad?

Anyway, some company may have created this, but I want to give netflix the money instead. This could be another tier in their plans, mobile viewing through webkit enabled devices and iphones. I think it’d be great, but its not a huge bummer if they don’t allocate their resources to it.

Hulu on set-top boxes.

Seems like this would be a good move right? How much more would you use this service if it weren’t only through your computer? I realize that some folks only use their computers for entertainment, but it’d be really cool if this option existed. I’d use it like crazy.

Although, I guess that’s what TV is.

Build-your-own entertainment plan.

If there was an option to pay like 5 bucks a month and choose any channel. I think I’d be up for it. I enjoy Discovery Channel and Food Network enough that I might shell out 4-5 bucks a month for each.

My Idea: The network channels would just stream the feed through an internet connection. The channels would run 100% like they do now, including all the advertisements at programming. The networks would get a cut of the cost to make it more appetizing.

Rent movies with a 24 hour limit

I don’t understand why this is not currently available. I realize that Xbox Live and Amazon.com have on demand watching capabilities. But they’re both too high. Redbox is $1 a day, and they use DVDs, is bandwidth cost so much more (seriously, would it be more expensive? I honestly don’t know).

My Idea: When you rent movies (older movies $1, $2 for new releases), the rental fee is added to your account.

In the last episode, the Irish team got voted out, even though they were great. Some of the dances…to me, weren’t dances. Even the Shoulin Monks aren’t dancers…they’re cool, and their choreography is absolutely amazing, but they’re not dancers.

The Groovaloos are my favorites, and I hope they win.  The American guy is also pretty awesome, but I think there are better “dancers”.

To summarize, I don’t think this show truly presents the World’s Best Dancers because the judges are so inconsistant. And some of those in the competition, shouldn’t be there.

P.S. – Watching the US Duet, they’re not gonna make it…this guy’s lookin’ shaky.

Near the end of the first campaign, the only option I had was to run for the Helicopter on my own, leaving my teammates to die nasty zombie deaths; Survival of the fittest I guess.

Daniel and Mike prepare to fend off Zombies for survival.

Jerrod and Tim watch each others backs

Mostly everybody had to get home to their families at around 11, but mike and I played halo for the rest of the evening (until about 1am). This morning at 6am when my daughter woke up, I was kicking myself a bit for staying up late.

I’m always wanting to do stuff like this, my basement turned out to be the perfect place for it to happen. I hope we do it more often.

I didn’t want to give my life over to him, to fully submit to Him the future of my family and my children. I didn’t even realize I was doing it, but I was keeping them from Him, as if  I could provide for them better than He could; as if the life I had for us was better than the one he had prepared. The first time I realized this, I didn’t know what to do with it. So I sought the root problem of why I didn’t trust God, and as it turns out, I didn’t believe that God was good, I was afraid he would send me where I did not want to go, and make my life miserable to teach me about himself in ways I did not want to learn.

It was a sobering realization that I didn’t know God the way I thought I did; a confirmation that I don’t have it all together spiritually.

I was talking to a friend of mine about it and told him about how I was hesitant to trust God because of what that meant, and how that really shook me up that I didn’t understand God in that way. His advice was so full of common sense and such a logical approach to faith, that it was impossible not to take it.

Why don’t you and your wife commit to praying about this. Ask him to show you himself and show you his goodness.

And that’s basically where it started.

A new understanding

God is supreme

Everything that exists on this earth was made by Him, for His glory and purpose. That’s just the way it is. Some people might say that God shouldn’t have the ability to do with us what he pleases, but the fact of the matter is that if they even begin from the presupposition that he is God, then they’re cutting off the branch they’re sitting on. I don’t care to debate this. My point is: God is God, he is the ultimate power, there is nothing higher than him, no other power above him, so whatever He says goes.

But he gives us a will, and freedom. Even the angels had a choice. And even some of them chose to rebel. I think this again speaks to the fact that he doesn’t want mindless robots, he wants a response of faith, loyalty, he wants us to see that he is a God worth our allegiance.

God is gracious.

Throughout history, God has invited us in to his plan and purpose. The bible is replete with examples of God showing himself to his people, then trying to remind them of how he showed himself. We easily forget, yet he is gracious with us when we do. He knows our weaknesses, our tendencies, he understands that we will forget, that’s why in the bible the phrase “Remember” is used so much.

How quickly we forget, and how frequently he forgives. We’re like babies sometimes, forgetting about him as soon as our attention is drawn elsewhere. yet he forgives.

God is love.

God loved the world so much, that he gave his only begotten Son, to become a baby, to live with us, to have bad days, and colds and heartaches. To be fully human and deal with everything that comes with it. To give up all the power in the world, to live 34 years on this fallen world, and be killed, then rise again in order to defeat everything that is broken in it.

God is love, any true form of love is a testament to the presence of God in our lives on this earth. The hope that we have, is his presence. And not just Christians, unbelievers too. He is present in all of our lives, constantly providing a way to himself, if you only begin to look. That’s why hell is so frightening, it’s more than likely not made up of fire, red demons and pitchforks. It’s the complete and utter separation from God, which no human has ever known on this earth.

And that is love. To provide yourself, your love, your forgiveness, your hand of comfort, to those who do not love you, even to those who hate you.

God is good.

I believe that now. And as much of my spiritual discovery has been, it wasn’t through ah-ha moments, but through simple things that happen then set in until all of a sudden I’m in tears about how wonderful He is.

I am against abortion. I stand against it because, as Mother Theresa said, “It is a poverty, that a child should die so that you and I may live as we wish.” For the same reason I believe we must act to save lives, to preserve hope in others. As a Christ Follower, it is my responsibility to care for the orphans of the world. I believe that one day, we will come to judgment, and in this day, we must answer to the gray areas that we rationalized in order to ease our conscience. This is what I believe.

I’ve stood by the war in Iraq, for the freedom of an oppressed country; but is it right? I don’t know much about it all, except that Saddam was a Tyrant, and shouldn’t be in power, but somehow tyrants always do rise to power don’t they? Whether it’s right or not that we’re at war in Iraq, American soldiers are still in miserable conditions and putting their lives on the line every day.

Thousands of American lives have been lost in Iraq. This number didn’t bother me until today. Many parents lost their children in this war. The trauma that war inflicts on soldiers is nothing to take lightly either. Families have been ruined because of this war. I’m not saying I think the war is wrong, but I don’t want to shrug off the effect that it is having on households around our country. Today I was listening to Derek Webb’s “Love is Not Against the Law” song, when the line “Are we defending life, when we just pick and choose, lives acceptable to lose, and which ones to defend…” shook me.

I guess the point of all this is simple: Just because a person volunteers to go into the military and serve his country, does not mean that country can justify his death by the fact that he signed up. He signed up in good faith that the people of his country would not waste his life, and devastate his family for a war that is not a righteous, justified cause.

To whoever stumbles upon this thought and wants to drop me a note about the war and politics and what-not, you’ve obviously missed the point. The point is that life is sacred, and should be protected. And so, while I believe in defense, I will protest the sword if it is not wielded well. I am now called to examine this, no longer as an American, but as a Christian.